i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
