420 ftw
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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