Don't you send me to vm
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
