Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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