i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
