Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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