Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
