New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
