Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
