i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
