how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
