I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
