i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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