glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
