Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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