a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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