Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
