hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
