what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
