She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
