i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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