Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
