your room smells of hookers.
And success
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
