think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
