He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Even my vagina gasped.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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