The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
