I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
