Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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