the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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