Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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