yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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