More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
