I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
its liver damage thursday
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
