so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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