stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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