Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
