Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
