The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
