"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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