Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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