Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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