That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
