i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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