I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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