It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
