My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
