So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
