He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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