Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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