you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i wish my penis had a tongue
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
