Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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