Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize