I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
